The Day I Met Truth, And Why I Don’t Think Paul Ever Did
Testimony
Deliverance | Discernment | Freedom From Deception
The Day I Met Truth
And Why I Don’t Think Paul Ever Did
There’s a difference between being interrupted and being transformed. A difference between being stopped in your tracks and falling to your knees in grief. A difference between hearing a voice and being born again. I know, because I’ve lived that difference.
I didn’t meet Yahushua at a high point in life. I didn’t meet Him when I was thriving or all wise and powerful. I met Him when I was dying—truly dying inside. Drowning in despair, wrapped in the ache of suicidal ideation, overcome by the weight of my own shame.
There was no theology on my tongue, just a raw and broken heart. I wasn’t looking for answers, I was on the floor pleading for rescue.
So I literally crawled to the altar, convinced if I could only get to Him, I could be saved — not because someone told me to, but because there was nowhere else to go. I hated my sin. I despised it. It had wrecked my life and devoured my peace, and I wanted nothing to do with it ever again. I cried out with everything in me for Yahweh to take it away, to forgive me, to cleanse me, to just not leave me in that place. I needed HIM TO SAVE ME, And so He did.
Not with a flash of light or a booming voice from Heaven—but with a love that broke every chain, truth that burned through every lie, and a presence so holy that I couldn’t help but fall apart just to be made new.
That’s what meeting Yahushua really does. He just undoes you and leaves you bare. He doesn’t leave you negotiating with sin or bouncing back and forth between flesh and Spirit.
Meeting puts to death the old you. And then it raises up someone else in your place—someone who walks in truth, in light, in freedom — and you cannot help it, because you’re not the one doing the work.
He comes to those who are lowly and poor in spirit — the prideful have no use for Him.
What the world calls sacrifice, I know as freedom. The very things I once clung to—my pride, my false identity, my sin—were the chains I didn’t know were strangling me. Letting them go didn’t feel like loss. It felt like deliverance; I could breathe. I could smile. I could wake and give thanks for another day.
And no one who has truly met Yahushua calls that a sacrifice. Only someone who still secretly loves their sin sees holiness as painful.
Paul didn’t come crawling to the altar. He wasn’t mourning his sin or begging for healing. He was on the way to kill more Christians—more followers living in The Truth of Yahushua, when [an angel of] light struck him.
He was confident, proud, and utterly convinced he was right. And though he was stopped—yes, he was stopped—there’s no evidence that he ever wept over his sin. No mourning. No washing of feet. No public confession. No writings on the various joys of repentance—just a claim of seeing the light, just a claim of a gospel all his own… and then years of building a theology that kept him, and others, in constant tension between Spirit and flesh… Flesh which He calls evil, yet Yahweh calls the heart He will give us flesh, so it must be good. Yahushua redeems the flesh, so it must be good; David writes about the flesh, and again, calls it good.
And then I wrestle with the idea of Yahushua causing anyone to be thrown from a horse…
The Apostles knew Jesus—they knew He would not greet a man by assaulting him, even someone who means Him harm—even someone about to take His life…
Paul writes in Romans 7:19, “I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” That doesn’t sound like someone delivered. That sounds like someone still in bondage. Someone who has not fully surrendered to the Messiah. And yet, many call this the mark of the Christian walk—as if struggling with sin is all we can expect on this side of eternity. But that is not what Yahushua said.
Yahushua said, “If the Son sets you free, you shall be free indeed” (John 8:36). He didn’t promise endless struggle. He promised victory over sin. He didn’t tell us to expect failure—He told us to abide in Him and overcome.
Paul’s entire testimony revolves around being confronted, but we never see true contrition. His writings are filled with inner turmoil, philosophical grappling, and even contradictions. He teaches things the other apostles never taught. He claims direct revelation, yet his life and letters lack the fruit of those who walked hand-in-hand with Yahushua. Where is the weeping? The repentance? The clarity?
Instead, we see a man still wrestling with his flesh, still trying to define sin, still unsure how grace and obedience hold hands. And yet, he tells people to follow him. That alone should raise every alarm.
In contrast, when I met Yahushua, He didn’t give me a new doctrine. He gave me a new heart to suit an old Law and an even older Word. I didn’t walk away wondering what sin still meant. I walked away leaving it behind.
I don’t follow Paul because I’ve met the One he claims to know. And I can say with full confidence—Paul did not reflect the heart of Yahushua. He boasted in weakness but never seemed to be healed. He spoke of grace but lacked the clarity of the cross. And worse, his words have been used to justify staying in the pain of sin, instead of walking in freedom of Yahushua ha’Mashiach.
Yahushua didn’t die so we could struggle forever. He died so we could be raised. So we could live. So we could walk in the newness of life—“being born again,” is not just in theory, but it’s living in Spirit and in Truth.
So no, I don’t follow Paul. I follow the Lamb who was slain, the One who called me beautiful when I was clothed in shame, kissed my lips and put the Word in my mouth; the One who lifted my head when I was buried in despair and the One who didn’t just stop me from killing myself—but saved me.
I met Truth. And when you meet Him you walk away free, you don’t tell several versions of the same story, you stop pointing to yourself, you don’t curse people or curse at people, you don’t do the opposite of what the Holy Spirit says, you don’t get a different gospel, and you don’t slander the Apostles who were appointed by Yahushua Ha’Machiach.
Paul Rebukes Peter
Valentin de boulogne, ca. 1609
And Here We Find Grace…
GRACE perfectly encapsulates the transition from striving, to resting, in God's presence—which is at the heart of the message. Grace is the unmerited favor of God, and it's through His grace that we are able to move from struggle to peace. I invite you to pause and reflect on God's presence, how you can connect to God’s grace in a meaningful way.
Our GRACE Method™ is meant to encourage you so you can experience YHWH, Immanuel, and the Holy Spirit, in a deeper way, on a regular basis, through thought provoking Bible Study, Prayer, education, and Worship.
GRACE Method
G — Grounded in Scripture
“No one who stays in Him sins. No one who sins has seen Him or known Him.”
(1 John 3:6)
R — Reflect on Context
What kind of conversion brings clarity, and what kind brings confusion?
Compare the testimonies of those who met Yahushua in the Gospels with Paul’s encounter.
What’s missing?
A — Apply to Your Life
Are you still wrestling with sin, or have you been delivered from it?
Has your theology made excuses for bondage, or led you into freedom?
C — Commune with God
Ask Yahweh to show you the places where mixture may still remain.
Ask Him for boldness to follow Yahushua alone, even when it means rejecting the hypocrisy of teachings you once trusted.
E — Exalt Him
Praise Yahushua for His power to deliver, to redeem, and to make us new. Worship Him not just with your words, but with a life that testifies of His transforming power. Ask Yahweh to remove the deceptions from the evil one and give you eyes to see and ears to hear His Gospel of freedom and truth! In Yahushua’s name, Amen.
Declaration
I have been delivered from sin, not because of Paul’s gospel, but because of Yahushua’s blood.
I do not follow confusion. I follow the Truth.
I do not excuse sin. I’ve been set free from it.
Yahushua is enough. From now forward I declare I will defend truth, and not double thinking. I will defend the ways of Yahushua alone, and let the conviction of the Gospel fall where it may.
Yahushua alone is worthy of my trust, my worship, and my obedience, and it is by His power alone, I walk in freedom.
In Yahushua ha’Mashiach’s Name I pray, Amen.
Share Your Faith
Your story matters. If Yahushua delivered you, healed you, or opened your eyes—share it. Not to glorify yourself, but to glorify the One who brings the dead to life. Tell the truth. Let your testimony expose the lies. And if you're still bound, know this: the Truth still sets people free.
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